Are you tired of being lonely and scrolling through dating apps with no success? Worry no more! We’ve got the top 5 dating tips for dummies that are guaranteed to turn your love life around (or at least make you laugh).
Wear a Turtleneck on Your First Date
Show off your sophisticated side with this timeless piece of fashion. Turtlenecks not only hide unsightly neck tattoos but also give off the vibe that you’re a tortured artist or a 1970s detective. Who wouldn’t be intrigued?
Pretend You’re a Professional Hugger
When you don’t know what to say, just offer a hug. Chances are, your date will appreciate the break from awkward conversation. Besides, who doesn’t love a good hug? Just make sure not to hold on too long or you might be mistaken for a stage-five clinger.
Talk About Your Collection of Lint
As you know, lint comes in various colors, shapes, and sizes. This topic will surely keep the conversation going for hours. Pro tip: Bring samples from your collection for show and tell. Just don’t expect a second date.
Master the Art of “Accidental” Hand Touching
Channel your inner high schooler and “accidentally” brush your hand against your date’s. If they don’t pull away, congratulations, you’ve unlocked the secret to chemistry! If they do, just blame it on your uncontrollable hand spasms.
Use Your Pet as a Wingman
Borrow a puppy or kitten for your date. Animals are natural icebreakers and conversation starters. Plus, your date will think you’re a compassionate pet lover, which is always a plus. Just remember to return the animal to its rightful owner afterward.
There you have it! Armed with these dating tips, you’re sure to find the love of your life (or at least a fun story to share with your friends). Good luck!